A Different Boat

Over the past week, I have been pondering the past. I generally am not a past dweller. I don't have a good appreciation for history and I have a horrible memory. These characteristics tend to keep me in the present and worrying too much about the distant future rather than reliving the past. However, this week I'm there. Remembering. And in that place, the tragedies, heartache, suffering of many friends and family members all come back with new sadness. The faces of parents, spouses, friends, and children grieving at funerals come back vividly. And beyond the pain that I've observed first hand, the reality of individuals suffering on a global level hits home more deeply. Maybe it's as I get older, or maybe it's having become one of "those people" who everyone feels bad for, sympathizes with, and hopes to never have to walk in those shoes, but I can no longer see suffering from a removed place. Those wives whose husbands were in the World Trade Center are...

Or rather the last month has been: seizures, increase med dose, wait a week, repeat. I'm not sure why I set one week as the arbitrary amount of time Wes needed to go without having a seizure for me to feel some relief. It seemed that if we could make it a week, we could count on the medicine working and our lives going back to the way they were before. One week. So after the initial weekend of seizures, we went from 1 ml of his seizure med to 2 mls. We made it 6 days. Then we went to 3 mls and made it 8 days. Then we went to 4 mls and made it 7 days. Then four more seizures today. So now what? Now we head down the road of combining multiple medications hoping the side effects are tolerable. This seems like the unconquerable road. It seems like a place to just plop down and despair. But there is always a bigger picture and there is always some much needed perspective. There are many many children who have more seizures, more severe seizures, and more frequent seizures. Even in the...