6 Months at a Time
One of the absolute best pieces of advice I've gotten came from a friend whose son is also "disabled." She told me to look no more than 6 months into Wesley's future. The natural inclination is to try and predict what he'll be like as a preschooler, kindergarten, teenager, or adult. The problem is, it's one big guessing game. There is no way to accurately predict what Wes will and won't be able to do in his lifetime. There are simply too many variables and too many unknowns. Who knows what other miracles God may work, what medical advancements may come along, or what tremendous improvement will come through Wesley's hard work and stubbornness. Yet every time I see a "disabled" teenager I try to predict if Wes will be better or worse off than him. Such exercises bring my anxiety level to extremes and let in that sneaky devil, fear. I would love to say I just live in the moment and don't worry about what the future holds but that is simply impractical for me. I need time to mentally prepare myself for what is to come. 6 months at a time. 6 months is a much more manageable time frame for my predictions. While trying to picture what Wes will look like as a 3 year old brings fear, picturing him as a 15 month old is less anxiety inducing. 6 months allows me enough time to feel like I won't be completely blind sided by the future yet little enough time that I don't work myself up into a total panic. A 6 month future is difficult, but manageable.
Wesley hitting 9 months old was hard for me. He is getting closer and closer to that 1 year mark without hitting any major developmental milestones. He's made a lot of progress from where he was, but big age milestones further emphasize the ever widening gap between him and "normal." It's easier to now know what most 8 month olds can do and therefore resist the urge to see how Wes "measures up." But I know that by one year old, a baby should be responding to his name, standing up (if not walking), saying his first words, etc. I know I still have 2 1/2 months to worry about this, but I want to find a genuine way to celebrate all the achievements Wesley has made by his first birthday and lessen the sting of all the things he is not yet doing.
Wes got his first styled fohawk today. My same friend called him "hipster Wesley." :)
Wesley hitting 9 months old was hard for me. He is getting closer and closer to that 1 year mark without hitting any major developmental milestones. He's made a lot of progress from where he was, but big age milestones further emphasize the ever widening gap between him and "normal." It's easier to now know what most 8 month olds can do and therefore resist the urge to see how Wes "measures up." But I know that by one year old, a baby should be responding to his name, standing up (if not walking), saying his first words, etc. I know I still have 2 1/2 months to worry about this, but I want to find a genuine way to celebrate all the achievements Wesley has made by his first birthday and lessen the sting of all the things he is not yet doing.
Wes got his first styled fohawk today. My same friend called him "hipster Wesley." :)
I like this post! I think that is good advice for anyone, in general. I applaud your desire to capture those opportunities for fear and anxiety to get in and make them obedient to Christ. You're doing great! :)
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