Herding

A friend from Anchor Center recently sent me a link to this blog on the importance of special needs parents taking care of themselves (although I would argue this applies to all parents at some level). One of the most sombering parts of this blog is the statistic, "40 to 70 percent of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression with about a quarter to half of these caregivers meeting the diagnostic criteria for major depression – Family Caregiver Alliance, National Center on Caregiving." Looking around at my caregiver friends and the parents in the waiting rooms at Children's I can start to see that. Everyone displays this facade of strength and stability but when you look harder, you can see the cracks. You have to look strong and act strong to make it through each day. Being strong is a requirement for existing in this high stress environment but strength only goes so far. You start to see the cracks when a mom who seems like she has everything together yells at her child for no apparent reason, or doesn't yell at her child because she can't bear to say 'get down' for the thousandth time that day, or bursts into tears over the well intentioned but misguided comment of a stranger, or has a brief look of sadness as she takes in the world around her.

However, one of the most inspiring parts from this blog is "I rely heavily on my incredible network of special needs parents... they are my herd and I love them." There is something about finding people who relate to your struggles, your odd victories, and your twisted sense of humor regarding disability that makes the journey easier. I love the idea of calling them my herd. Although all of our kids are different and have different paths, there is a sense of traveling together on our unexpected, unplanned journey. I was asking my husband about a friend's husband and why he got along with him. His response was they have something in common, "our kids are both screwed up." Somehow, if anyone else outside this herd were to talk about Wes as being 'screwed up' I would be furious and incredibly insulted. But while relaying this story to my friend, we smiled and agreed that was a fairly accurate (although brash) assessment of our situation. Athough the are many many amazing things about Anchor Center, one of the best is they intruducted me to my herd and without them I would feel so isolated. We're traveling through Holland together and I'm so eternally grateful to not be traveling alone.

Wes loves putting his Paci in upside down now. I think it looks hilarious when his bottom lip pops out from under it.

Fingerpainting is still so fun :)

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