Perspective

Well Wesley's EEG and neurology appointments went well. His EEG looks the same as it always has which this time seems like a good thing. It's still abnormal, but we're going to call this his normal. That means they didn't see any reason to worry about hard to see seizures. So I can relax a little bit. I now feel like we have a plan for moving forward, I know which neurologist we're going to see from here on out, I have a written action plan for myself and anyone else who watches him, and I am less terrified that he will have another big seizure.

With his improved eating, he's gained several pounds. After struggling to follow the curve while staying "below the first percentile" for so long, it is a huge blessing that he is now above the 10th percentile for weight! That also means he rapidly outgrew his dose on his seizure med likely causing the seizures last weekend. So I'll definitely be on watch for that in the future. For now, I'm still heartbroken that we're adding epilepsy to his diagnoses, but much more at ease about how I can manage the situation from my end. Always trying to remember that ultimately God is in control and I am not.

I'm feeling appreciative for who my boy is and trying to spend more time doing the things he enjoys. We often get so caught up in therapies and goals. I am reminded that we can take time to embrace him where he is right now and worry less about what we want him to accomplish in the future. So yesterday he hopped around the kitchen in his gait trainer for almost an hour, just giggling the whole time. Then today we walked to the park and swung for a long time. He's still sleeping in bed with me for now and this morning I looked over at him and he just grinned at me. Sadly, it often takes dark, terrifying days to get some perspective back and simply enjoy smiles and laughter.