Hope

It's amazing how you can see the same thing over and over yet miss the significance, but every once in a while the power of a symbol or moment nearly knocks you off your feet.

For the last few weeks especially, I have been feeling this profound sense of dread towards the future.  I'm tired of (many aspects about) our situation in the present and the future looks like a lot more of the same.  It's like we're running a footrace of unknown length so there is no way to pace yourself and no markers to pass to remind you how much closer you are to the finish line.  We're just running, and running, and running.  And somewhere amidst that, I have lost my hope and replaced it with dread.  I dread the ongoing separation and isolation from our community.  I dread turning on the computer to "go" to church each week.  I dread questions from the kids about why they can't go the places they want with the people they want.  I dread Colby missing birthdays and milestones.  I dread what next school year will look like.  I dread the regression Wesley will suffer from all of this.  I dread the damages of division and hatred that are fueled by hardship.  I dread every decision I have to make with piecemeal and unreliable information.  And the dread consumes my hope like a cloud blocks out the sun leaving the dull reminder of light without the warmth and clarity, and even the glimmer of a silver lining on those clouds feels like such a game we play to try and trick ourselves into thinking the storm isn't all that bad.  I know that I need to come back to the Hope I know to be true but it keeps eluding me.

And then I look up and see a rainbow in the sky and without inhibition, I start laughing.  Laughing like how I imagine Sarah laughed when Issac was born.  Laughter out of the perspective changing joy of my own faithlessness in contrast to God's great faithfulness.

"And there, in the clouds - just where the storm meets the sun - was a beautiful bow made of light.
It was a new beginning in God's world.
It wasn't long before everything went wrong again but God wasn't surprised, he knew this would happen.  That's why, before the beginning of time, he has another plan - a better plan.  A plan not to destroy the world, but to rescue it - a plan to one day send his own Son, the Rescuer.
God's strong anger against hate and sadness and death would come down once more - but not on his people or his world.  No, God's war bow was not pointing down at his people.
It was pointing up, into the heart of Heaven."  (The Jesus Storybook Bible)

I've seen several friends post these most spectacular rainbow pictures over the last week and, although impressed by the beauty, I had forgotten the significance.  Rainbows aren't just a cool and beautiful part of nature, they are a reminder of the promise and sacrifice of God.  That significance was the piece I needed to put the heaviness of the present reality in it's proper perspective.

This is like the days of Noah to me:

    as I swore that the waters of Noah

    should no more go over the earth,

so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,

    and will not rebuke you.

For the mountains may depart

    and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,

    and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”

    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.  

                   Isaiah 54:9-10

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you and my covenant of peace shall not be removed"  That promise isn't a silver lining so often used to minimize the our hardship.  It's a reality check that out beyond the clouds, the sun is as strong and bright as ever and that our present circumstances, no matter how oppressive they feel, cannot and will not last forever because the God of all that exists turned the bow on his Son to give us eternal peace.  That right there is the hope I was needing my soul to return to.  To keep a hold on that hope I need to look for the rainbows instead of the silver linings for the silver linings are simply a reminder that things aren't as bad as they could be but the rainbows are reminders that no matter how bad things are God's steadfast love shall not depart from me.