Sacrifice


I started reading the Bible to Wesley a few months ago. We got to the story of Abraham taking Issac up on the mountain to sacrifice him.  Whenever I had read that story in the past, I always thought that what Abraham did would have been really hard but that I could do it if God asked me to.  Well, sitting there holding my baby boy whom I had aleady almost lost, I felt so protective of him and realized that my faith is not nearly as strong as Abraham's. To be truly honest with myself, if God asked me today to sacrifice Wesley, I think I would completely ignore Him. It's one thing if God asks you to sacrifice of yourself for Him but it's a totally different game if you're asked to sacrifice of your child. At first I found myself feeling angry that God would ask Abraham to do such a thing. It frankly seems like a cruel thing to ask of any parent.  Or even the story of Job seems cruel for God to allow him to suffer like that. But there is more to every story than just the gut reaction emotion I have. God is working on my heart, teaching me how to accept that although Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, I still don't know everything(I just often think I do).
Two realizations hit me about this story. One was that God has every right to ask me to do anything with myself or my son. I have no right to, or even ownership over, my life or Wes' life.  We are alive because of God's desire and we can just as easily die because that is His desire. He doesn't owe me any explanations. When He gives me explanations it is purely out of love not obligation. Wesley, just like Issac was for Abraham, is in my care but ultimately he belongs to God, not me. It's kind of ridiculous to act as though I love Wesley more than God does. Although I love him more than I ever knew possible (I know every parent says that), God is the originator of love and therefore loves more deeply than I am even capable of (as impossible as that seems at times).  I know Abraham loved Issac immensely, but he trusted that God loved Issac even more and knew what was best.
The other realization was how dare I be angry with God for asking Abraham to sacrifice his son when God willingly sacrificed His Son for my sake.  How near sighted and selfish to think it unfair for Him to ask the same of Abraham or even of me.  God not only had to suffer through watching His Son be tortured and killed, He did so for my sake even though He could have stopped it. It is unfathomable for me to love anyone more than I love my son yet God, in that same situation, chose me. It's incredible how natural it is to love your child but I think God is trying to show me I need to find a way to love and trust Him even more than I love Wesley.

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 12, 2012 at 5:48 AM

    Woah, definitely some heavy things to ponder but i think great conclusions! -Hanbabal

    ReplyDelete
  2. KristaJune 12, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    So true! Also, remember that Isaac willingly sacrificed himself. He wasn't a weak little boy...he was a young man who could have easily overpowered Abraham and ran away. But he willingly climbed onto the altar because his father had raised him to trust God unconditionally. And you are doing that with Wesley, through your example to him. Isn't it great how you can read something in the Bible a hundred times, but on the 101st time it completely blows your socks off? God is good! :)

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